I am embarking on a rant about this. It’s a pet peeve, really, and NOT MEANT AS A REAL CRITICISM!, because I am well aware I might be the only writer/reader out there pitching a fit about this. Plus, I’m sure I write my own fair share of cliches. But this one—“… a dance as old as time” to describe a sex scene? Hate it. For one thing, it’s extraneous, unless of course, it’s meant to be the sole descriptor of the scene. Then I think it’s just plain lazy.
Of course we all know what that phrase is supposed to convey. We can picture it; it is, after all, a cliché.
And yes, I am such a slut for erotic books that I will continue to read the offending (to me) material and love it anyway! Which just happened, giving rise to this particular rant. I hate the phrase, and I’m betting a lot of you have come across it before. Multiple times, probably. I suppose at one point there was a certain lyricism to it, a kind of ethereal poetry. Now the bloom is off that rose. I’m not saying writers need to write graphic sex scenes. That’s both a personal and story decision. I write graphic sex. I like it. I like to read it. But I also read sweet and sensual, so it’s not like I see euphemisms to be cheats. I do see an oft-repeated, beaten down, worn out phrase in the middle of a descriptive sex scene, however, to be completely and utterly rant-worthy.
Why do it? What the hell does that phrase really even mean anyway? Let’s imagine one guy riding his lover. He’s planted himself on boyfriend’s cock and… here comes that phrase! They rock/grapple/thrash in a rhythm/dance/battle as old as time. Rest assured I am not singling anybody out with this or any version of this phrase, and I think it’s gone way past plagiarism at this point—I really have read it that many times. But what does it really mean? They rock, thrust, undulate, grind, roll, swivel…stroke, bite, nip, lick, suck. Any and all of these acts might appear in—and here it is again—a dance as old as time.
We (writers) are all guilty of writing clichés. We’re in a hurry to write/type it down. Our brains work a hell of a lot faster than our fingers. So we go for it, pat phrases and images can be short-hand for what we really want to say. And during our edits—and yes, there had better be edits—maybe we don’t catch them all. Especially the subtler ones, but—a dance as old as time? It’s so egregiously cliché. I’m telling you—don’t write it! The minute you feel that urge, the moment it rises up into your consciousness—beat it death with a baseball bat. Put it out of its descriptive misery. And if you can’t do that—RUN!!
I get it too. Writing sex is easy. Writing good sex—just as sweat inducing as having good sex. It ought to be as fresh as your characterizations, which means it should be a tool for character and plot development. Here’s another cliché—there’s nothing new under the sun. Yep. This one works for me because it’s true. Well, okay… Maybe a dance as old as time is true too. I don’t have to be logical. Rants are emotion-based. And I get that there are certain limitations built into describing the mechanics of sex. Only so many variations, so many positions, so many ways. But the emotions and desires of the characters have limitless permutations. To use a cliché to describe sex is to skip the work of revealing the inner lives of the characters. Skip the sex. Focus on the emotions. But don’t tease me into anticipating sex then pull the old switcheroo with a dance as old as time.
It pisses me off. Write good sex. I like it. 🙂
